13 Ways to Die

**This song was originally called "13 Ways to Die / Give Suicide a Try" but we decided that it was too long. Also, we were planning on having a song on ASTCH that would perfectly compliment this song called "I Love Myself and Want to Live," but that didn't work. I think we need more songs like this one.**

Its my fantasy

To drown myself in the red sea

It would be cool

To bring a toaster in the pool

And it would be nice

To stab myself with a butter knife

And it would be cute

To sky dive without a parachute


Wanna die?

Give suicide a try!


Itís a nice day

To play in traffic on the freeway

It would be sweet

To eat 10 lbs of stale raw meat

I could surely cope

With eating a few bars of soap

And I wont say nope

To hanging myself with a rope


Wanna die?

Give suicide a try!


So many ways to die

Too bad I only get one try


It would really rock

To get my head smashed with a cinderblock

What I should try next

Is drink a gallon of windex

It would be good

To be impaled by a piece of wood

Whats more fun

Than being shot with a big gun?

Itíd give me shrills

To take boxes of sleeping pills